Granny's Aging Jokes
Three elderly sisters live in a house together. One night two of the sisters are downstairs in the kitchen, and Mildred is upstairs in the bathroom. She fills up the tub. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
Sarah yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" she asks Eleanor.
Eleanor is drinking hot tea at the kitchen table and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful--knock on wood." Then she yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
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Three retirees were playing golf one beautiful March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?""No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."
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Two ladies had been friends for many decades. They were playing cards one day when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."Her friend glared at her for a long time. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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Two elderly women were out driving. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, and the light was red . Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned about her mind. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red, and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Susie, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"Susie turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"